image by Dale wicks
I finally recieved a report from my pain consultant supporting ill health retirement, and this has been sent to occupational health dept.
The results of my cognitive assessment confirmed my difficulties
" significant difficulties with attention and concentration and working memory and performance on a test assessing speed of information processing confirmed defective abilities. Memory functions assessed, (verbal ,immediate and delayed) were within the average to defective range and verbal recognition memeory was also defective"
And this report has also been sent to occupational heath dept.
All has gone very quiet now, i assume occupational health are in the process of formulating a final report to be presented to the pension trustees.
Meanwhile I continue working hard finding strategies to manage by back condition and Ms symptoms on a day-to -day basis.
The impact of the the feedback from the neuropsychologist has been very challenging.
Of course i knew that i was having difficulties , but having them acknowledged brings me to a "what now ?" position.
Im sure in time , bit by bit i will find a way of compensating for the cognitive impairment.
Find different ways of doing things.. but first comes acceptance.
Acceptance is my first step, and a difficult one.
Frustration is the biggest thing. I still expect my brain to be able to work in the old ways, and find my mental processess sluggish and unreliable.
I am trying not to get too caught up in the undelying feeling that i have changed, and tthat somehow the essence of me is so different. Of course i can rationalise that my brain is just another organ and it has health problems. That i am NOT my brain. But the difficulties i have does affect the way that i react to the world and people around me. So yes if feels like as a person I have changed beyond recognition.
Outwardly, im sure that these changes arent as noticable to others as they feel to me.
I hope not anyhow!
So , yet more opportunities to find new ways of doing things.
I have had some real insights recently, and yes i can see gifts that are being presented to me by having cognitive difficulties.
Im running out of energy now , but i look forward to trying to communicate those another time